Back-to-School Tips for Moms Navigating Cancer

Back-to-school season — that summer-to-fall transition that kicks off the last quarter of the year — is both exciting and daunting at the same time. I blink twice and it’s already New Year’s Eve! In August, my kids go back to school with new schedules, activities, endless forms, lunches to pack, orientation meetings, and school picnics.

Somewhere in the middle of managing all of that, in addition to work and the usual family commitments, it can be easy for busy moms to lose track of time and forget our own needs. This is important for every mom, but even more so for those of us navigating cancer treatment, living with an increased risk of cancer, or in survivorship — because mom duties don’t just disappear after a diagnosis.

As a BRCA1 previvor, physician, and daughter of a breast cancer survivor, I know exactly what it's like when your healthcare feels like a full-time job. Depending on where you are in your journey, there are appointments, medications, screening tests, big decisions, and a low level of constant anxiety running in the background. And when you are navigating a new diagnosis, treatment, surgery, complications, or recovery, your plate may already feel completely full.

And so, this is your reminder that you don’t have to carry the whole family’s load yourself. Ask your tribe for help. Ask your partner, family, friends, neighbors, church members, or others in your community to help with kids’ activities, transportation, meals, homework, or whatever else can be taken off your plate.

I ask my clients all the time: “What would you do if your loved one was in your situation?”

I almost always get three to five ways that my client would support them. The people who love you want to be there for you, too. But sometimes they just don’t know how.

Taking care of ourselves can’t become the thing that we try to squeeze in after everything else gets done for everyone else. Here are some of my nonnegotiables for the back-to-school season to create a healthy routine for you and your family.

Add Yourself to the Calendar

What you schedule becomes your reality.

I treat my own health needs like an important work meeting that gets a dedicated spot on my calendar. That means I schedule the walk with my friend. I block time to go to the gym and to do meal prep. I make space for whatever I need to do to take care of myself each week.

This month, I am officially six years out from my risk-reducing surgeries. If you are in the middle of treatment or recovering from surgery, your block of time may look completely different from mine. It could be a gentle walk, a nap, physical therapy, time to prep food you can actually eat right now, or just a 30-minute block of “me time” when nobody is expecting anything from you.

Create Health Checkpoints Each Year

I have two health checkpoints scheduled each year on my calendar — in January and September. During these months, I look at what needs to be scheduled for me, my husband, my kids, and my pets — and then I schedule all the visits. They include primary care visits, specialist appointments, and dental checkups. For me, that includes my menopause doctor, dermatologist, and breast surgeon. Depending on your current season, you might benefit from more than two checkpoints a year (that is, maybe one per quarter).

Over the years, I learned that just because I am the one booking the appointments does not mean that I have to be the person who does everything else, too. Taking the kids to the doctor or the pets to the vet, picking up prescriptions — these and other tasks can often be delegated.