More Pleasure, Less Pain: Maintaining Your Sexual Health at Any Age

Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are another common ailment. They also happen in children and men, but it’s people with vulvas between the ages of 16 and 35 who get them the most. One reason is that they have short urethras, and sex can expose the urethra to bacteria from the rectal area and vagina.

When it comes to birth control and STI prevention, we have a lot more choices than we used to. Which option you choose is a matter of personal preference, but size is an important factor in condoms. For your own safety, you may want to have multiple sizes available if you have multiple partners.

“Large condoms can be baggy and slip off and defeat the purpose,” says Eve Hall, a physical therapist, owner of Inspire Health Physical Therapy and Wellness in Wellington, Florida, and host of the podcast Please Me! “A condom that is too tight can easily break, thus causing an uncomfortable moment in the bedroom.”

This 24-pack of condoms contains six types of vegan latex condoms, including ultra-thin, textured, and extra-lubricated varieties. The brand also makes custom-fit condoms with 52 size options. Shamyra Howard, PhD, LCSW, recommends this brand to her clients. She’s a sex therapist at We-Vibe who’s earned certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and she has a private practice in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

While you should be able to get screened for sexually transmitted infections during your regular doctor visits, getting home testing is now a viable option. “It’s better to do an at-home test than no test at all,” Dweck says. Make sure the test also includes some kind of counseling along with your results, she says.

Everlywell provides telehealth visits when results are positive or abnormal in this screening test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis C (HCV), syphilis, and trichomoniasis. Through Everlywell, you can also get the OraQuick At-Home HIV Test Kit, an oral swab for HIV-related antibodies that gives results in 20 minutes and is approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). This is just a preliminary test, however, and you’ll definitely need to do a follow-up for confirmation.

About 70 percent of people with vulvas get yeast infections in their lifetimes. To prevent these infections, it helps to start by recognizing when your symptoms occur. Then you can figure out what might be triggering them, such as antibiotic use, wearing tight-fitting clothing, or using a soap with artificial fragrance.

Not every person likes the same kind of stimulation, which is why there's so much variety in vibrators now. Womanizer’s claim to fame is providing a form of clitoral stimulation that uses air instead of touch. The DUO 2 combines that with two different-sized stimulation head attachments, a G-spot stimulator, 14 vibration levels, and 10 vibration patterns. It’s made with waterproof, body-safe silicone.

A curved vibrator like this can be used as both a clitoral stimulator and a penetrative G-spot vibrator, which is great if you like to alternate or aren’t sure of your preference. It has five levels of vibration, though some users say it’s gentle even at the highest setting. It’s waterproof, made with medical-grade silicone, and it recharges with a USB-C cord.

“Vibrators and massage devices, from a medical standpoint, are fantastic, because they enhance blood flow — just like any massage, anywhere on sore muscles, might enhance blood flow,” Dweck says.

Grines often recommends that beginners try vibrators from this Japanese brand. The products so aesthetically pleasing and discreet that you could almost leave one out on a table, and no one would know what it is. This bath-friendly clitoral stimulator is made from body-safe silicone, and it takes a single AAA battery. It’s designed to carry with you; just be sure not to keep it in a place where you actually mistake it for your lipstick in public.

Good Clean Love is one of Grines’s favorite brands of lube. “I really do believe in who they are and what they market,” she says. This pH-balanced, water-based lube has moisturizing organic aloe vera and no potentially irritating glycerin, parabens, or petrochemicals. It’s safe to use with condoms and toys. Water-based lubes are good for sensitive skin, clean up easily, and are most compatible with silicone sex toys. But they do evaporate quickly.

If you decide to go the telehealth route for hormone therapy, but you want as much contact as possible with a clinician, Midi might be a good option for you. You’ll meet with a healthcare professional for a half-hour initial visit. Then you’ll be able to book 15-minute follow-ups and exchange unlimited messaging with them.

Professions on the platform treat perimenopause and menopause, aid in weight management, and help manage other health concerns for cisgender women. These visits are covered by many insurance plans. Without insurance, the first visit is $250 and follow-ups are $150 (medicines and lab work not included).

Winona is another platform that offers convenient perimenopause and menopause treatments prescribed via telehealth visits. These are conducted solely via messaging on a portal, not video. There’s no charge for visits, but you’ll have to pay for the medications out of pocket, as no insurance is accepted.

The brand sells its own bioidentical hormone medications in tablet, cream, patch, and capsule forms. It also sells DHEA — a hormone that promotes the production of estrogen and testosterone — as well as other medications and supplements. Plus, it has an active message board, live Q&A sessions with doctors, and opportunities to meet in person with other community members.

Whether you’re looking for couples therapy or individual therapy, Talkspace can connect you with a professional to help identify underlying issues that may be impacting your sexual pleasure. It’s extremely affordable, even without insurance (starting at $109 a week for couples therapy). Plus, you have the option of messaging your therapist when you can’t schedule a virtual visit. Just note that sessions are only 30 minutes, which may feel short for those used to more-traditional 45-minute sessions.

It may be intimidating to reveal the most troubling aspects of your sex life to a stranger, but a trained professional will know how to make you more comfortable. “There’s a whole process to getting people to open up about sex,” Howard says. “We are able to help them to loosen up when it’s time to start talking about it. And it also allows them the space to say, ‘No, I’m not ready to talk about that yet.’”

But again, you shouldn’t use a device like this if tight muscles are the cause of your discomfort. So you may want to see a doctor or a physical therapist before making a purchase.